MODIFY AND BAG VSM

MODIFY AND BAG VSM

Prof Dr Colonel (Retired) K Prabhakar Rao

There is hardly any scope for any original research in Army particularly in Corps of EME although some top Brass can never accept the criticism. Therefore each and every guy struggles to do some thing to bag an award by this way or that way. They try to make crow out of swan or vice versa. Earlier we used to have Distinguished Service Order (DSO) during British Indian Army and we now have VSM, AVSM and PVSM (Seva medals of merit). In fact services cannot bag gallantry awards (Although there is no bar) and there is hardly any scope even in war as direct clash with enemy is remote and one is literally a camp follower. In Delhi parlor the locals call EME as the Mistry ( Repair man ) of Army. They obviously have dirty hands. The services personnel thus can hope to get some Seva Medals and struggle and rat race takes place to corner these awards. How can one really prove that he has rendered some distinguished service meriting an award? Who will recommend for this award if you are straight forward and not a Yes Master shouting, “yes sir… yes sir.. three bags full…none for me and all for you, dear all for you…...” For all favors this is the first criteria in modern world in uniformed services. Gone are the Napoleon. King Arthur, Richard and Alexander days. A difficult thing indeed for a real contributor to get his name through at different levels without pleasing the guys. There will be always some hawks at senior levels who can never appreciate others efforts who turn it down saying, “ it is after all better utilization of scarp . What is so big of it, He is duty bound and it is part of the duty”, they claim with wide and twisted eyes. But when their turn comes they will be the firsy guys to extend their neck and throwing out parties at home.. People have to prove that they contributed in such a way that great amount of money was saved, great amount of human labor was saved, safety has been ensured which probably did not exist, import substitution has been made of significance, performance has been greatly improved, defects have been removed once for all making the war like equipment ready always for war (Although many get condemned without seeing any war)……………….. and similar things to account. Sadly not many chances are there for every one. The easiest thing EME guys keep trying is to modify existing equipment. When new equipment is available and is used, it will have some or other defects at some time or other. When a defect is noticed, the EME guy jumps up and shouts, “thank God here is the chance. I shall make ass out of this”. When new equipment arrives he looks at it and there is a villainous smile on the face. His Odyssey at once starts. He may be at junior level or at senior level. Very senior level guys like Major Generals, Lt Generals, and even Brigadiers hardly come in contact with equipment and thus can hardly contribute in this way. So they gulp the issue and try for some self created higher planning and co- coordinating projects where they struggle to show their merit They will try to prove that they managed to manage their managing positions most effectively. Don’t think this is very confusing. It has to b This is the primary requirement in management science. It is making simple things more difficult and manage to evolve a solution and prove that they have done something very great. All management projects are based on this simple theory. Difficult to digest. Isn’t it? Those at lower levels spend midnight oil struggle to find some defect where they want to assert that they have contributed for service of meritorious order deserving at least a VSM. Now the guys try to put a finger in every silly defect and make a case of merit by modification. In a tiny hole of needle, they make efforts to push through an elephant.

They don’t mind proving that nozzle valve of a motorcycle is the culprit that causes sudden loss of air from the tire in desert terrain and then claim a citation shouting Eureka. They strain their mind proving that light is required in darkness to show path. Such is the craze. Some remove solid cotter pin and introduce split pin and claim improved reliability. Some apply Araldite to threads of a bolt to prove that it locks better and then claim a citation. I saw a guy using plaster tape for sealing covers instead of gum claiming that he removed environmental pollution. Some use one sided used paper for correspondence and claim saving and send citation. Other few guys use old envelopes for posting new letters showing that they saved money. No end to such tricks. Those days guys were just after making a device for cleaning equipments although ready-made equipments were available. On guy was desperately trying to run a petrol car by sending heated diesel through Carburetor. Sadly the petrol engine of the car was ruined and he finally gave up as he found real state business more lucrative. However spirits of EME guys should be definitely appreciated for making efforts to modify everything even if it is good.. Some body suggested that EME should be redesignated as Corps of Maintenance, modification, Advisory and Recovery Engineers (MMARE). It some how tallies with Maintenance and Advisory Group (MAG) brought in by LtGen SS Apte. Re discovery of things go on unabated in all fields of EME.

The only field in which EME gentry claims prominence is the field of Reliability, maintainability and Availability that was pioneered by Lt General SS Apte former DGEME. When he was in chair, all the guys were speaking only on this topic. Even a Cat staying in EME battalion or Technical Group Headquarters could mew reliability parameters ( MTTR, MTBF….. ). Once I went to a Colonel’s house on invitation. Suddenly I heard the reliability parameters in sweet tone. I looked around and I found none. I was confused. Suddenly I saw a parrot in the cage looking at me and it shouted, “’Oh fool! do you know MTTR, MTBF… I know it all.. Sweetoo… Cheee Chee… Be careful. June is coming soon..” I felt upset really and wanted to wrench its neck. But the cage had small mesh and was locked. I used to give daily lecture to my wife on care and maintenance of house equipment and after watching for few months she threatened that she would divorce me if I did not stop the nonsense at the house. I quickly retreated. Every one around suddenly became great expert on all the three topics overnight. Scores of papers were written and published in proceedings. Those days many seminars were conducted on RELIBILITY, MAINTAINABILITY AND AVAILABILITY and it formed the corps philosophy. Most of the officers learnt the terminology if not the subject. For many, the subject appeared queer and weibul plots went over the head. Now and then in all meetings, they used the terminology while others queerly, strangely and sadly looked on with tearful look. Some pulled their hair in disgust bald people could not do any thing. . Every one ignored the mathematical analysis of reliability that is complex ( See Dr LS Srinaths Book on Reliability) because the service officers particularly at senior level forgot even simple maths long time ago and became clueless and they became mangers. So the papers only contained all Bla… Bla..Haa….Haa and Hi.. Hi with jugglery of words and long phrases, short forms, confused and conflicting and vague statements, examples, odd looking equations, snake looking symbols, charts, some figures (Copied?), Up and down going curves, and the papers were ready. There will not be any Bibliography and references in the text. They were still called Technical publications. The photograph of the senior guy stretching hands on the podium, bending over mike will always be there along with the paper. Many were bald and few had few traces of hair left here and there on the head. Some will be looking into infinity and some would close eyes. Photographs of lesser souls were forgotten. If something was there it was not visible. It appeared to be some strange Madagascar ape staring at you. But after LtGeneral SS Apte has left, many were probably relieved that they were saved from crazy fever of Reliability, maintainability and availability. Now no one talks on Reliability, maintainability and availability. These words appear strange and alien even. All are happy now. In spite of so many studies Reliability of EME itself remains below 100 percent after years of shouting around about reliability parameters. If something exists, exact figures have not been made public. The craze has just vanished. Get relief indeed? Probably others have also got bored with the same repeating. The subject has reached saturation in fact and does not attract much attention. At M tech level too in IIT ( Indian Institute of Science) there is not much of craze for this subject as very few would be interested. This is of least priority. Some EME guys who do post graduation having lost the board on study leave attempt at this, as other fields are highly mathematics oriented and guys are severely scared. They want M Tech degree with least effort and without maths. The Reliability subject is dying if already has not died. EME is the only organization where maximum data on maintenance is being maintained with some reports and returns. Some clever senior guys take advantage and use the data to carry out some type of pseudo research that can get them a Ph D degree. For senior guys there is no problem. There will be N guys at lower level to compile and collect and collate the data at field and base level to supply the material. A bit of rearranging and some bla… bla… and… chau .. chau here and there, the thesis would be ready. There comes the Ph D from some university on maintenance studies, mostly glorified case studies) without much effort and finally a Photograph of the guy would appear in Corps journal in full block smiling or gazing into unknown. There is a great academic eminence radiating from his face which clappers see invariably although the guy was never seen holding a book seriously and all the time frowning at people. There will be scores of congratulatory messages from everywhere and are published. The journals are generally meant for Generals and it has become a general practice and in general prevailing atmosphere. Then every one forgets till some other guy does it. The achiever also retires soon and no one remembers him. Remember at common man level, Poor others have no time and facilities to compile data. He would have been running from pillar to post finally abandoning. In the end, the guy would have been dubbed as only studious and given 5 in ACR thus putting a seal on him. That is the safest way of fixing a guy in services. In fact getting superseded is a boon now days in army. He will happily get out and start a flourishing career outside instead of hanging around as a colonel and becoming a scrap or dead wood over a period of time and outside dead wood is not accepted although you have higher rank. In army only rank counts and not what is there in the skull. So whatever happens it is for ones good ( See Pragmatic Euphony over net). Be happy. Three cheers.

The yearly ritual of awarding AVSM and PVSM to the guys would then start. Invariably all Major Generals and Lt Generals will get one of these or both and some time repeated adding bar or pole to the title depending on the clout they wield. Remember a General without the title at the end of the name such as AVSM or PVSM that appears queer, amusing and is rather insulting. A General with title VSM appears inferior and odd man out. However he may not feel, but others feel. So at least AVSM is a must to him to level things, How come the guy became a Major General or Lt General if he has not rendered outstanding service? The very fact that he has become a General overcoming the long obstacle course and snake ladder game is the indication that he deserves the award. After all, he has survived so long in the services. Vishishta Bonnded Labor Medal (VBLM) or Vishistha Fatigue Medal ( VFM) should be introduced. They will be happy that at least their bonded labor has been recognized. So every guy gets one of these awards. Those who call it a day must get VFM or VBLM depending on length of service. The award VSM in tit bits is given to lesser souls below the rank of Major General here and there (Although many deserving get left because they lack some qualities of showing off, managing the award and running after it) to make things appear smooth and sober. Unfortunately rank of Brigadier has some loop holes. In India we don’t call them Brigadier Generals. Although they fall into General officers category they are kept at distance by the Generals and sadly Brigadiers by virtue of ego can not mix up with colonels, majors and captains. They hang in between suspended ( Trishanku) As per mythology Trishanku was promised that he would be bodily sent to heavens by Sage Vishwamithra in yore and accordingly he sent him. But Gods pushed him down. He was falling down and shouted for help, The sage prevented him from falling and created an entire world for him that is killed Trishanku Swargam i.e heavens.. Mostly officer cadre only gets the opportunity to render distinguished service as seen by the records. Sepoys, Havildars and Subedars are left to winds. As some one stated recently commenting at the deaths of three other ranks, “they are after all Personnel below officer Rank ( PBOR)”.

Three cheers to awards and award winners, award managers, citation writers, Award publishers, award givers, award sanctioners, award refusers, award watchers and the crazy ways to bag them. Others please suck own thumbs after dipping in honey and feel happy and elated. You can not suck others thumbs any way. Any how these awards have no meaning outside army and not even worth a scrap of paper. It is just satisfying ones ego. No hard feelings. All in a game. Everything is fair in love and war. Getting an award is like fighting a war. So all is fair. So enjoy.

Dr K Prabhakar Rao

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